Here’s how a grief support group can help

Many grieving people wonder if they would benefit from joining a support group. Support groups are a time-tested method of help for people struggling with all sorts of difficulties. But groups are not magic; there are no words that can be uttered within a group setting that can make grief disappear. 

Groups are places to work together to support one another; they are places where everyone gives and takes. Not everyone will find a support group suitable; each individual grieves in his or her own way.  For many, however, support groups have much to offer, such as:

Validation: Grief is experienced in so many ways — physical, emotional, and spiritual. One needs a place to recognize that these reactions are part of the journey of grief. Being with other grieving people can reaffirm that one is not going crazy. While every loss is unique, through support groups one can bask in the support of others who have experienced loss and understand.

Time away: For many people, a support group can be a break from the loneliness and the boredom that often come with grief.

Suggestions for coping: There is no single solution to dealing with loss but members of a support group can offer a range of alternatives. By listening to stories of how others cope with a particular problem, one can find the solution that might work best.


Support groups offer two other gifts:
they provide hope by providing models that reaffirm that one can survive loss; and participating in a support group can also help the griever find new empathy, new understandings, and renewed strengths.

The Joseph T. Quinlan Bereavement Center, located on 5 Plains Road in Augusta, holds group support meetings the first and third Wednesday of each month from 12:30 p.m. – 2:00 p.m. and from 7:00 p.m. – 8:30 p.m. on the second Monday of each month. Group support groups are also held at our satellite locations on 214 Washington Street, in Hackettstown monthly on the third Tuesday from 10:00 a.m. – 11:3 a.m. and at the United Methodist Church on Ann Street in Milford PA on the fourth Tuesday from 10:00 a.m. – 11:30 a.m.

All support groups are open to not only those who have used hospice services, but also to anyone in the community whom is suffering the loss of a loved one. For more information on all the programs that are offered at the Joseph T. Quinlan Bereavement Center please call 973-948-2283 or visit KarenAnnQuinlanHospice.org.

Why Shred?

Why Shred?

Why shred your documents and paperwork that are unneeded, out of date, or no longer relevant? Why not just throw them out?

Everyone knows that we should protect ourselves from cyber identity theft, but it’s easy to forget that the threat of “paper” identity theft is still very real. Don’t take chances—shred! On-site shredding is the primary way to safeguard personal information. Once you’ve gathered all of your documents designated for destruction bring them to our offices located on 99 Sparta Avenue in Newton this Saturday, July 8, and watch them get shredded while you wait! Cost is only $6 for a grocery sized brown bag.

According to the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI), discarded paper is one of the principal sources of information for identity thieves. Secure destruction of sensitive material helps you and your company avoid risks like:

  • Loss of trade secrets
  • Fraud
  • Embarrassing publicity
  • Litigation, fines, and penalties
  • Identity theft

 

As far as personal documents are concerned, to be as safe as possible, we recommend that you destroy any paper that contains even a minimum of personal information. Identity thieves are clever and can gain a great deal of usable information from documents like:

  • Medical/Dental Records
  • Discarded mail
  • Resumes
  • Used Airline Tickets

Helping a Friend Who is Facing a Life-Limiting Illness

This article from the Hospice Foundation of America website give some practical tips on how to help a friend for family member that is facing a life-limiting illness.

What do you say and what can you do to support a friend who is dying? Every situation will be different depending on how long you have known someone, how close you are to the person, and how much he or she might welcome words, visits and other offers of help.

If you have never faced this situation before, start with your own thoughts and feelings about death. Be sure you have someone to talk with about your own reactions so you can be less anxious around your friend. Reading other articles on this site about dying, death and bereavement may help you feel more confident about supporting your friend, while at the same time coping with your own feelings about his or her impending death.

Here’s an example that may also help you think of your own ways to help:
Wayne had been at home receiving hospice care for the last month; his wife, Betty, was his primary caregiver. Their friends John and Mary found many ways to offer support to both of them.

John sent brief “thinking of you” notes to Wayne every week, especially in the times when he could not visit.

John and other friends provided rides to the doctor, mowed the grass, walked the dog, and drove Wayne’s children to several out-of-town school events.

Mary and John stayed overnight a few times, giving Betty a break with nighttime caregiving duties.

Mary helped organize a circle of friends to run errands, do laundry, and bring dinners and desserts. Friends also sent funny cartoons to Betty as they knew she loved to laugh, even during difficult times.

Mary always texted before calling to be sure it was a good time for Betty to talk so she would not interrupt with unplanned phone calls.

In addition to all of this practical help, John and Mary both spent quality time with Wayne. Based on what he needed that day: pushing him in his wheelchair around the neighborhood, sitting quietly by his bed, touching his arm or hand when it seemed comfortable for him, or playing some of his favorite music

When Wayne expressed anger about his illness to John, John listened. John’s steady presence showed Wayne that, even though the conversations might be tough, it was safe for Wayne to share any emotions he had about his illness and death.

Throughout the visits, John and Mary reassured Wayne that they were determined to continue to support Betty and the children even after his death.

John and Mary tried to tune in to what was wanted and needed by asking, “What can I do this week to be useful?” Sometimes the need was for space and quiet, other times for hands-on-help. The important thing is to offer and be sensitive to the answer so you can be a good friend even in the face of life-threatening illness.

Who will care for your pets when facing a life-limiting illness?

When facing a life-limiting illness many patients worry about who will take care of their beloved pets once they are gone.

 

Having a plan in place can help ease some of the worry and anxiety. Some options include: a will provision, a pet trust, a DIY pet protection agreement or an informal agreement with a family member or friend.

 

Every year between five and seven million companion animals enter animal shelters due to the death of their owners, reports the American Human Association. Of these, approximately three to four million are euthanized (60% of dogs and 70% of cats) when adequate homes cannot be found for them. Older pet owners usually have older pets that can be hard to find adoptive homes for.

 

Placing a pet in a shelter who has spent most of its life in a loving home, sharing a bed, sitting on the couch surrounded by its toys and memories can be very stressful to the pet. If no provisions have been made and no family or friends are able to step forward and care for the pet, a “no-kill” pet rescue organization can be an option to help the pet find a new home.

 

If you are caring for a pet whose owner has already died it’s important to evaluate if you have the financial means, space or time to take care of the pet. Also, find out if there are any provisions made for the pet in the owners will. These provisions can be helpful in providing financially for a pet’s care over the long-term.

 

With a “will provision,” you simply include a provision in your will that leaves your pets to a beneficiary. You can also leave money for their care to the same person. A will that includes provisions regarding pets can cost less than creating and administering a traditional pet trust.

 

The problem with a will provision is that the person you leave your pets to does not have to follow any instructions you provide as they are not legally enforceable. Unlike with a pet trust, you cannot distribute money for care over time – it comes as a lump-sum payout – or ensure that the money gets spent as directed on your pets at all. A will must go through the probate process, leaving the care of your pets up in the air during that time.

 

Also, since a will goes into effect only upon your death, it cannot provide care for your pets if you become seriously ill.

 

A pet trust is a legal process that transfers ownership of your pets to a trust, which includes instructions for their care and money to pay for it. You name a caregiver, and you appoint a trustee to oversee that care and any related expenses. If you do not name a caregiver and trustee, the State of New Jersey will do so. Pet trusts are valid in the state of New Jersey.

 

The trust will terminate upon the death of the pet, or, if the trust was created to care for more than one animal, upon the death of the last surviving animal or the death of the last surviving direct offspring of animals in gestation at the time the trust is enacted. With a traditional pet trust the caregiver and trustee are under a legal obligation to follow your instructions.

 

The court may reduce the amount of the property transferred if it determines that the amount substantially exceeds the amount required for the intended use. If the trust is reduced the property will return to the estate. It is important to consider what amount goes into a trust or pet agreement. It need to cover not only regular care, but also unexpected expenses.

 

If you opt for a living pet trust, as opposed to one that kicks in after you die, you provide for your pets if you become unable to care for them because of serious illness.

 

You do need a legal professional to prepare a trust or living trust. If you already have an estate plan in the works, adding a pet is typically very inexpensive.

 

A DIY Pet Protection Agreement like the one available through LegalZoom, is valid in all states. This legal document allows you to specify a caregiver for your pets and leave money for their care. A Pet Protection Agreement is a contract between the pet owner and the pet guardian. The signature of both parties on the agreement makes it legal.

 

 It falls between a traditional pet trust and will provision in terms of the amount of detail you can include. It cost much less than establishing a traditional pet trust or drafting a will.

 

Like a traditional pet trust, it can apply if you are living but unable to care for your pets. Unlike a traditional pet trust, it does not require funding upon creation. A DIY pet agreement is better than doing nothing, but going to a skilled estate planner will ensure that everything gets done correctly. If you plan to leave a substantial amount of money for the care of pets or think your family members may dispute your wishes, then a formal pet trust could be a better option. A Pet Protection Agreement is a simpler, more affordable alternative.

 

You can also set up an informal arrangement with a trusted family member or friend to take your pets when you die. It cost nothing to come to such an arrangement. You should make sure all family members and friends know about the agreement and will not put up a fight for your pets too. With this type of agreement, you have no control over the care of your pets after you die.

 

The information above is just a starting point. A legal professional can best advise you how to move forward.

Bereavement Center wins SCEDP Business Expansion Award

The Joseph T. Quinlan Bereavement Center was one of the two recipients of the Sussex County Economic Development Partnership, Inc., Business Expansion Award. The Center tied for first with George’s Wine and Spirits Gallery in Branchville.

The award is a direct way to thank companies and individuals who have assisted economic development efforts in the county. Specifically, the Business Expansion Award is given to an existing business that, after an initial investment, continues to expand its original business operation through employee growth or capital investment.

Julia Quinlan, Co-founder and President of Karen Ann Quinlan Hospice and Diana Sebzda, Director of Bereavement, accepted the award on behalf of the Joseph T. Quinlan Bereavement Center. The award was presented by Tom Ryan, the managing partner at Laddey, Clark & Ryan of Sparta.

The center opened doors to its new permanent home on 5 Plains Road in Augusta on April 1, 2017. The Center provides grief support and counseling for hospice families and the community. If you have lost a loved one through death, our professional and caring staff can bring you comfort and understanding which will help you and your family through this difficult time. For more information please call 973-948-2283.

 

Operation Recognition: Diplomas for Veterans

In 2000, the New Jersey Department of Military and Veterans Affairs (NJDMAVA) and the Department of Education jointly launched a program to honor World War II era veterans who left school to join the military and never received a high school diploma. Known as Operation Recognition, the program was expanded to award a state-endorsed high school diploma to any New Jersey veteran who left a New Jersey high school to enter military service during World War II, Korea and Vietnam.

To date, more than 2,000 high school diplomas have been awarded to New Jersey veterans either by mail or at community ceremonies. 

Programs similar to Operation Recognition have been established in a number of other states including Connecticut, Florida, Georgia, Iowa, Massachusetts, Nebraska, North Carolina, and West Virginia.

Who qualifies?

Any current New Jersey veteran who left a New Jersey high school to join the military between the dates of Sept. 16, 1940-Dec. 31, 1946, June 23, 1950-Jan. 31, 1955, or Dec. 31, 1960-May 7, 1975 and were honorably discharged. All branches of service including Merchant Marine and Coast Guard are eligible.

Those who earned a GED are also eligible. Diplomas may be issued posthumously. Surviving family members of eligible veterans are urged to apply. The paperwork needed:

– A copy of the veterans’ DD-214 or discharge papers,
– The name and address of the high school the veteran attended,
– The year the veteran would have graduated and
– The applicant’s name, address and daytime phone number.
– Send your request to:

Operation Recognition
New Jersey Department of Military & Veterans Affairs
Eggert Crossing Road
P.O. Box 340
Trenton, NJ 08625-0340

You may also fill out an application for award by visiting:
 http://www.state.nj.us/military/veterans/njdsm_application.pdf

Karen Ann Quinlan Hospice is a “Four Star” – We Honor Veterans, organization. We Honor Veterans is a program of the National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization (NHPCO)  in collaboration with the Department of Veterans Affairs (VA)  and community Hospices. The program focuses on respectful inquiry, compassionate listening and grateful acknowledgment. If you need help filling out the form and/or mailing appropriate paperwork please contact us at 973-383-0115, ext. 145 we we would be honored to help.

17th Annual Karen Ann Quinlan Hospice Butterfly Release Celebration Set to Soar on June 10 & 11th

Karen Ann Quinlan Hospice will host its 17th annual Butterfly Release Celebration with three events held in Sussex and Warren Counties, New Jersey and Pike County, Pennsylvania on the weekend of June 10 and 11. “This beautiful event honors the life of family and friends who are still with us and celebrates the memory of those loved ones we have lost,” explained Cecelia Clayton, Executive Director of Karen Ann Quinlan Hospice. Since its inception in 2000, Smith-McCracken and Wood Funeral Homes have been central to the success of the event, leading the way as the major sponsor.  “We are very proud to support hospice and the annual Butterfly Release Celebration. This event and the hospice exemplify the importance of friends and family,” stated Robert McCracken. 

Participation begins with the purchase of a butterfly for $20.00 in the name of a loved one. Included in the purchase is a commemorative butterfly lapel pin which will be sent along with a personalized acknowledgement card to the designated recipient. “The butterfly pin was designed specifically for this Butterfly Release Celebration,” explained Pam Milone, event committee member and office manager for Smith-McCracken and Wood Funeral Homes. “We have introduced a new color pin each year. Not only have these pins proven to be a thoughtful reminder of those we care for, but a keepsake from the event.” Monarch Sponsors donating $100.00 receive a stunning butterfly sun catcher. A new design in the series is featured annually offering a thoughtful collection opportunity. Participants are encouraged to visit our website to register and purchase a butterfly in advance. Once registered a butterfly pin and acknowledgment card will be mailed to designated recipients and the celebrated name will be printed in the event program. Butterfly celebration pins and name recognition can also be purchased the day of the event before the ceremony begins. 

Each celebration integrates live music with the reading of each name being celebrated and concludes with the release of dozens of Monarch butterflies. Karen Ann Quinlan Hospice, currently celebrating its 37th year of providing hospice care to patients and their families, is pleased to welcome the community to the Warren County Butterfly Release Celebration hosted at the Karen Nash Memorial Butterfly Garden on the grounds of Memorial Elementary School in Washington, NJ at 11:00 a.m. on Saturday, June 10. Also, hospice supporters and area residents are welcomed to gather at the gazebo in Memorial Park in Milford for the Pike County Butterfly Release Celebration hosted at at 4:00 p.m. on Saturday, June 10. Sunday’s Butterfly Release Celebration will be hosted at the gazebo on the college green of the Sussex County Community College on June 11, beginning at 2:00 p.m. The celebrations are hosted rain or shine; in the event of inclement weather, the butterflies will be released when conditions are suitable. For additional information about the Butterfly Release Celebration or to celebrate the name of a loved one, please visitwww.karenannquinlanhospice.org or call 973-383-0115 or 800-882-1117.

Grief and the workplace

Grief & the Workplace

Whether it’s a colleague’s illness, the boss’ death or trying to help a friend through the loss of a spouse, grief and loss can dramatically affect the workplace. Being sensitive and deliberate in our responses can help the entire office cope with a difficult time.

Supporting a colleague

When someone at work experiences a loss, simply offering your sympathy and support is good way to help. Asking how they are doing and genuinely listening to their response without judgment or comment is usually appreciated. It is important to acknowledge their loss; often a simple “I’m sorry” is enough. Sharing stories of your own loss or avoiding the topic because you aren’t sure what to say is often hurtful to the bereaved person.

Participating in the memorial by attending visitations, funerals or sitting Shiva are all good ways to show your support. Flowers and memorials from the office can demonstrate your concern and care. Remember, there is no timeline to grief. A colleague may have an unexpected bad day months after a loss, so continue to be supportive even after the funeral.

When a coworker dies

The loss of a coworker is troubling. Providing a sensitive and compassionate environment will help the workplace cope with the loss. Remember that everyone grieves in their own way; providing a space for open communication and dialogue will allow everyone’s grieving style to be respected. Information about the death as well as the plans and arrangements should be shared in accordance with the family’s wishes. It may be appropriate to arrange something at the workplace to commemorate the loss as well, to allow colleagues to express their grief in their own way.

Getting help for the office

It is important for the office to be a supportive place for employees dealing with grief and loss. When a death occurs, it may be helpful to consider professional intervention by a crisis team. The Joseph T. Quinlan Bereavement Center is a good resource for providing extra help if needed. Diana Sebzda, Director of Bereavement can be reached by calling 973-948-2283 or email at dsebzda@karenannquinlanhospice.org

Hampton Rotary Club donates $15,000

 

The Hampton  Rotary Club, a long-standing philanthropic club that provides financial support to many individuals and organizations in Sussex County, presented checks for $15,000 to both Karen Ann Quinlan Hospice and Sussex County YMCA. The club held its last meeting on Tuesday, May 16 at the Lafayette House restaurant. The club, which has raised nearly one million dollars since it’s inception is disbanding due to diminishing membership.

The club also presented checks to the Gideons, DASI, Ginnie’s House and Project Self Sufficiency. We would like to thank Hampton Rotary for being one of our top 10 donors of all time and for all they have done, not only for Karen Ann Quinlan Hospice, but for all of Sussex County.

Hospice earns “Elite” Hospice Honors recognition

 

Karen Ann Quinlan Hospice has been named a 2017 Hospice Honors “Elite” recipient by Deyta Analytics, a division of HEALTHCAREfirst, the leading provider of web-based home health and hospice software, billing and coding services, and advanced analytics.

Hospice Honors, a prestigious program, recognizes hospices providing the highest level of quality as measured from the caregiver’s point of view. Deyta Analytics holds a special recognition, Hospice Honors Elite, to honor hospices scoring above the Deyta Analytics National Performance Score on all 24 of the evaluated questions.

The Hospice Honors is a landmark compilation of hospices providing the best patient and caregiver experience. The award recognizes top performing hospices for their hard work and dedication. Karen Ann Quinlan is one of six hospices in New Jersey to be recognized for Hospice Honors and one of two to achieve the Hospice Honors “Elite” designation.

“We are honored to be in the company of other New Jersey Hospices, and health care facilities nationwide, being recognized by Deyta Analytics. To achieve “Elite” status validates the exemplary care extended to our community by our dedicated team,” said Cecelia Clayton, Executive Director at Karen Ann Quinlan Hospice.

The Hospice Quality Reporting Program (HQRP) was mandated by the Affordable Care Act (ACA). As part of the HQRP, all Medicare-certified hospices are required to submit quality data to The Consumer Assessment of Healthcare Providers and Systems (CAHPS). The survey was designed to measure and assess the experiences of patients who died while receiving hospice care, as well as the experiences of their primary caregivers. Karen Ann Quinlan Hospice utilizes the vendor DEYTA to collect and submit data on our behalf to CAHPS.

DEYTA administers a CAHPS, hospice experience of care, survey to caregivers after the death of a hospice patient. The survey asks questions about care during the patient hospice stay.

Hospice Honors acknowledges high performing agencies by analyzing performance of Hospice CAHPS quality measures. HEALTHCAREfirst identified award recipients by evaluating hospices’ performance on a set of 24 quality indicator measures. Individual hospice performance scores were aggregated from all surveys with a final survey status of complete for the evaluation period and were compared on a question-by-question basis to a national performance score calculated from all partnering hospices contained in HEALTHCAREfirst‘s Hospice CAHPS database.

May 5 is World Hand Hygiene Day

Hand hygiene and antimicrobial stewardship


When should I wash my hands?

Many illnesses can be prevented with regular hand hygiene using soap and water or alcohol-based hand sanitizer. Clean your hands often, and request that others do the same.

Before eating;
Before, during, and after preparing food;
After using the bathroom;
After coughing, sneezing, blowing your nose, or caring for someone who is ill;
After taking out the garbage;
After petting animals;
When visiting someone who is sick; and
Whenever your hands look or feel dirty!
What hand hygiene products should I use?

Keeping your hands clean is the number one way to prevent the spread of infection. Here are a few things to consider when choosing a hand hygiene product.

Plain soap and water is one of the best ways to remove germs from your hands. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), the following are steps to properly washing your hands: wet, lather, scrub, rinse, and dry.

Alcohol sanitizer is good to use if soap and water are not available. Alcohol-based hand sanitizers that contain at least 60 percent alcohol can quickly reduce the number of germs on hands in some situations, but sanitizers do not eliminate all types of germs. It’s great to carry a small dispenser with you when you are out shopping, at the grocery store, in an airport, or on a plane.

Antimicrobial soap is used in healthcare settings like doctor’s offices, dentists, or hospitals. According to the Food and Drug Administration (FDA), it is not necessary to use antibacterial soaps at home.

What is antibiotic resistance?

Antibiotic resistance happens when bacteria change in a way that reduces or eliminates the ability of antibiotics to kill that bacteria. Washing your hands will help keep you healthy and prevent your need for antibiotics. But if you get sick, do not pressure your healthcare provider for antibiotics. If you are prescribed antibiotics, take all of them—even if you start to feel better.

Here are some other ways to celebrate World Hand Hygiene Day.

You can commit to always cough into your sleeve and not your hands. You can play handwashing games by singing a song for children when they wash their hands. You can make handwashing a routine and important part of your daily life to prevent the spread of harmful germs in your home.

Please join us on May 5 in celebrating the importance of clean hands worldwide to stop the spread of antimicrobial resistance!

2017 Hospice Honors – Photo Gallery

On Thursday, April 27, Karen Ann Quinlan Hospice Honors, presented by Lakeland Bank, was held at Panther Valley Country Club in Allamuchy. We would like to thank all who attended the event. Congratulations to the honorees which included: Robert, E. McCracken, Reverend Ernest M. Kosa, Marlina R. Schetting, MSW, LCSW, CT, Kathy Shane, RN, BSN, Willard and Jeanette Klemm and Friends of Karen Ann Quinlan Hospice. 
Please note: The slideshow make take a few moments to fully load.

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Photos by Paul Wheeler

Hospice Honors 2017 – Winning Number

We would like to thank everyone who attended Karen Ann Quinlan Hospice Honors last night. 224 is the winning secret number. If your program has winning number please call us at 973-383-0115. The winner will receive two free tickets to the 2017 Wine and Cheese Festival to be held on September 10 at Waterwheel Farm in Fredon. Good Luck!

Bereavement Center Open House – Video Gallery

We recently held a donor reception and open house for the new, permanent location of the Joseph T. Quinlan Bereavement Center. The center is now located on 5 Plains Road in Augusta with satellite offices in Hackettstown and Milford, PA.

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